The D'Stasios

I told you there would be a follow up to the last one. This is why I am thankful for cancer......cancer changed my life. It was/is a blessing. From finding out who really loves you to learning to let go of control. My life as I knew it before Feb. 26th is never going to be the same.

Let's start with the biggest change, the one I still struggle with, control. I feel the need to control everything in MY LIFE. I can admit that, Hi. I am Meagan and I am a control freak. That said, I have had to let go of sooooo much. There was so much I simply could NOT do and the good news, (as Jami would say) it didn't kill me. Hehe. I am a work in progress, I test myself. I now put myself in situations and let go. I still know this is my biggest area to improve and it eventually will reward me the most. I have to say a very special thank you to my biggest supporter, Jami. I can't imagine having gone through this without you. You are my best friend and I adore you.

Another HUGE conquest is "NO"! This has been a struggle my whole life. Saying no is OK. You can't please everyone and still make yourself happy. You can say no to friends and family, you can say no to your customers, just say NO! This has given me a whole new sense of freedom. It is allowing me to be a more authentic ME!

Next there is relationships........friendships, romantic and family. Everything is crystal clear now. I know who my real friends are, I know who I can and cannot depend on. Some might find it sad that the circle is so small but I don't see it that way. I see it as a blessing. Blessed that each person's role was very clear and each person was/is able to shine. Blessed with so many new relationships over the past year and people I truly love. Part of this too, is telling people I love them and not worrying if I get it back. Saying I love you and not "Love ya", I can be sincere with the people I care for.

Lastly (but not, there is so many blessings I could write for days)..........fear, I have lived in fear. Fear of losing people I love, fear of the unknown, fear of DEATH the BIG one, fear of failure (this one I may always battle). I found that fear kept me paralyzed trying new thing because I may fail, paralyzed. I now find myself feeling the need to do things I wouldn't have normally. I want to try new things, I want to forget about the past, I don't want to try to rationalize irrational fears. I want to LIVE rather than just breathe in and out.